The true freaks are never the ones you suspect: the blonde with the nip-slip top or the brunette trying to pull off the 80's retro look but who ends up looking like the lead singer of Ratt coming off a nine-day heroin jag instead. No, it's plain-jane girl at the back of the club sipping a Mojito and wearing glasses that were never in style. The same one who invites you back to her place -- and two hours later you're handcuffed to the headboard with a buncha daisies sticking out of your ass. You have NO clue what the hell happened, but you can't wait for it to happen again! Say hello to Dirty Girl. She's not sporting the biggest nugs and she smells like an elderly lime fucking last year's Christmas tree, but she's a complete and total freak. You think you're the one on top? Take a couple of hits -- yeah, who's the bitch now? That's right, YOU are . . . and daaaaamn it feels good! Dirty girl wants you to relax and just let it flow while she takes over. And she's cheap, too: I've found her for $8 a gram. She's not the kind of girl you bring home to your mother, but if you've got a Saturday night and some low lights, give her a try. Just be ready in case she brings flowers...
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